I’ve been feeling a little drained. Granted, we are wrapping up an almost week long trip home to Denver. Out of routine, out of our house, out of sync. Having a blast, but drained. Tired. In need of my own home. I was feeling down on myself, getting a little perturbed with myself at how quickly I feel “done” with mothering. I was wishing for a break, feeling like I wasn’t good enough, like I’ll never be the best mom for my kids, even though I know I am the best mom for my kids.
I happened to be driving in my dad’s truck, and I had spent most of the drive in silence, switching between attempting to pray and trying to control my negative thinking myself. I heard Becca stirring in the back seat, so I punched the power button and jumped when the music blasted on at volume level 27. (Who was in this car last?!) I turned the music down quickly, and started listening to the song that had come on:
who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting …
I listened absentmindedly for a minute or so, until it dawned on me: This song was speaking to me! I listened more closely …
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful, who says?
Who says you’re not star potential
Who says you’re not presidential
Who says you can’t be in movies
Listen to me, listen to me
Well, I mean, of course I need to hear I’m pretty, but star potential? Presidential? And I have no desire to be in movies .. yet, I wanted to “listen to” whoever this was. I started to wonder who could be singing such words right when this tired, drained, down-on-herself mama needed to hear ’em.
Who says you don’t pass the test
Who says you can’t be the best
Who said, who said?
Would you tell me who said that, yeah Who said
I pulled into the driveway, put the truck in park, and hit “eject”, intrigued to see who this was.
SELENA GOMEZ? The Disney star? REALLY? The 20 year old actress/fashion designer/singer? Speaking to this mama’s heart in a pick up truck on the slushy winter roads of Colorado?
Who woulda thought?
Who said I can’t do it? Who said I can’t be the best? Who said I’m not pretty? You know who said all those things? Me. I did. No one else in my life is putting these downer thoughts in my mind. Just me. Just silly old me.
And it took Selena Gomez in my dad’s pick up truck CD player (which could be a whole ‘nother blog in and of itself….) to make me see that truth.