You’d think so if you used to follow my blog and wondered where I went. I’VE wondered where I went, so I wouldn’t blame you if you did as well.
Where did I go? Well, a couple of things happened:
- I turned 30. It’s like a button was pushed and the introspection of my 20s disappeared. All I was left with was a jumbled mess of emotions that I can’t seem to sort out. “Help, twentysomething me! I’ve already forgotten how to be contemplative, emo, and artistic!”
- I had two kids. And those kids continue to grow up, need attention, love, energy, the works. What is WITH that? 🙂
- I started seeing a counselor. No, I’m not in trouble or majorly messed up or anything. But I figured it was time, as a student of psychology and of people, that I take a look at myself. Wow, is THAT throwing me for a loop.
- I went to a bloggers conference. Kind of by accident. It was good! And great! And I learned lots of stuff! …. but it kinda shut me down. I realized there was this whole other world out there in the blogosphere that I was unaware of, and not a part of. I had dabbled in my own little blog, sharing my thoughts, touching some hearts, but nothing like these other ladies. Their reach was far and wide. They schedule posts. They hit goals. They block out time to write. They pre-write, and post later. They include images, and links, and activities, and “how-tos” …. and I got overwhelmed. If I couldn’t do it perfectly and well, well, then I wouldn’t do it at all.
So I kinda quit. I kinda hardheartedly threw up some posts here and there, but my desire to write was gone. Flat out gone, because I felt like a failure. Like I didn’t measure up. Like, like, I didn’t have a voice.
Well you know what? I don’t have one clear voice. I don’t have one clear message. So, I guess, I’ll just blog on what I always blogged on–Glimpses of Me. When I was testing out new blog names, my dearest old childhood best friend turned sister in law still best friend (I’m not sure what to call her, obviously. :)) said, “I like Glimpses of Me! Why are you changing it?”
Good question, Lizbeth, good question. Why did I feel the need to change it?
I guess I thought I needed to grow up? Make a change? Do something different? TheGlimpses of Me blog, for so long, was on my journey of infertility. And while those posts continue to find their way to women who need to hear them and continue to minister to hearts (go figure–God uses even past blogs!), I felt the need to find a new voice, because, obviously, I can’t blog about infertility anymore. Others sure can (check out this one) but I can’t.
So I changed the name. Growing up is hard to do, though. Because I felt the need to do it, but I’m not quite sure how to! I don’t have one throbbing, singular message that I want to shout to the universe. I just like to write. I like to play with phrases. I like to share what’s on my heart–from the safety of my quiet desk with a cup of coffee nearby. And I like to hope it touches someone else too.
At the blogger’s conference I went to, I heard this: Decide who your blog is for. Who are you aiming at? Are you a “how -to, tips and tricks” kind of blog? Or a “encouragement, ministry to the heart” kind of blog? At the time, I shied away from the encouragement one, because I assumed my path is into the business/coaching world. But I’m not sure about that either … and so here I am, still stumped.
But today I needed to write. Desperately so. And I didn’t even write about what I thought I was going to write about. Actually, as usual, I sat down compeltely unsure of what I was going to write about and that’s what I usually do. It just works well for me–and it’s fun to see what comes out.
The catalyst? A paper my college professor returned late–8 1/2 years late to be exact. She closed with this paragraph:
“…The main reason I stopped teaching was that I struggled with returning projects and assignments in a timely manner … well, perhaps God, in His all-powerful way, will redeem even this failing of mine to bring to mind something good and important for you and bless you at this time. This is my prayer as I send this your way.”
I just emailed her to tell her that her prayer was answered. 8 1/2 years later, a paper I wrote called “Leadership and Kristin: Things Discovered” helped me remember a little snippet of who I am, who I hoped I’d become–and got me back in the saddle of writing.
So, helpful to you, or anyone, or no one but me, this blog is posted. The end.