I’ve Been Half-Lying

“God is sovereign!”

We’ve all said it. Complain, complain, critique, question, complain … “But it’s all good–God is sovereign!”

I’m know I’m guilty of it. Saying that TRUTH but not wholeheartedly believing it. I mean, I BELIEVE God is sovereign. I know it to be true. But when faced with a choice to truly ACT on that belief and, as my friend put it, have an “ultimate out on the limb trust and free falling in a waiting pattern” moment, it’s stink in’ hard.

Really, really hard.

It’s one thing to say “God is sovereign!” when you feel in control.

It’s easy to say, “Yep! Trusting God on this one!” when you feel it’s in the bag.

It’s simple to say, “For sure–God’s way it what we really want, no matter what it is.”

It’s much more difficult to release control. To realize that you can’t answer all the questions. You can’t control all the answers. You can’t avoid your past, and you can’t change it, either.

Life happened, for better or for worse, and every little piece of your life will follow you wherever you go, because, for better or for worse, (I think “for better” even when the experience was a “for worse”), it defines who you are.

And in ministry, it makes you the kind of “minister” you are going to be.

Battling infertility shaped me.
Not having a home church for years shaped me.
Finally understanding and valuing community because of our first life group at Discovery Church shaped me.
Following God’s call to Madison, WI changed me.
Dealing with disappointments, hurts, broken relationships, and loss of community worked me through the ringer.

And through all this, I’ve said, “God is sovereign!” Because He is. And always will be. And right now? Well, He’s really, really, really pushing me to wholeheartedly, out-on-a-limb, completely and utterly TRUST. IN. HIM.

He’s molding. Molding, punching, reshaping, breaking, working working working on this clay. And guess what?

He. Is. Sovereign.

About kristinlindeen

I am Kristin. I am Erik's wife. I am Joshua, Rebecca, and Andrew's mom. I am known nationally as the "QBQ! Daughter" and keynote on Personal Accountability and the QBQ. I am certified in Myers Briggs and am passionate about helping people understand themselves and others better. I am John and Karen's daughter. I am sister to many, mentor to some, friend to others. Most defining, I am Christ's daughter, adopted by God--rescued and saved by grace. And almost every single day, I need to be reminded of that truth. Come say "hi" at www.QBQ.com and of course, browse the blog! I'd love to hear from you, so comment away!
This entry was posted in God, Infertility, On Being in Ministry, On Being Infertile, On Church Planting, On Faith and this Life, On Moving to Wisconsin. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I’ve Been Half-Lying

  1. Pingback: Marked with Infertility | The Making of a Mother

  2. kegmiller7 says:

    Good thoughts. Get out some play doh and meditate on it for a bit. It will reinforce your thoughts here. It always does it for me. Love you!

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